Adoption and same-sex parenting: should everything be explained to the child?

Adoption and same-sex parenting: should everything be explained to the child?



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Adoption and same-sex parenting: should everything be explained to the child? Jean-Pierre Winter, psychoanalyst, and Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist, give us their point of view on what it will be good to explain to these children about their history.

Should homosexual parents who adopt a child explain everything to him or her?

  • JEAN-PIERRE WINTER, psychoanalyst : For an adopted child, whether by a homosexual or heterosexual couple, the important thing is to be able to trace his story, because his parents will have explained to him in terms adapted to his age and will not have lied to him. He needs to understand the circumstances in which he was born and why he is here, and not elsewhere. From the moment that homosexual adoptive couples do not make the child believe that he is the fruit of their love, there will be no problem. Do not make him believe that he has "two dads", or "two moms", because nobody can understand that. From the dawn of time to the end of the world, every child has a father and a mother, whatever they say. On the other hand, he can have a mother who has a companion, and a dad. One must be careful with the terms used and not try to erase the missing parent or ask the child not to differentiate between the two women or the two men who are raising him.
  • STEPHANE CLERGET, child psychiatrist What is difficult for an adopted child is to understand why his biological parents could not raise him. But a child knows that the parents who adopted him are not the origin of his life. To hide the truth from them would be heresy, it could create troubles because the child would feel that things are being hid from him. But each family is unique and multiple patterns, many children live only with their mother, or their father, others have in-laws, others have both parents at home but who do not get along ... All this influences their development, but children from homoparental families are no more affected or fragile than others. The bottom line is to tell them the truth.

 

Stéphanie Letellier