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At the end of the year, last year, your toddler was rather dazed by all the excitement out of his ordinary. A little refractory even, to new heads? This year, "it's going to be his birthday"!
For his first Christmas, he was perhaps still a little lost and moderately delighted with all this agitation. At 2-3, the party is no longer afraid of children, on the contrary, it fascinates them, says Colette Jacob, psychologist, special-list children. "You have to be well aware of the richness that holidays can bring to a child ... and not miss an opportunity to attend one of them." Let's go for a tour of all the felicities of these days of a feast we would not want to miss, or make him miss.
The party ... to be happy
- We, adults, often love to "jump" on any occasion to sing, dance and laugh ... and answer present, whatever our age! The party is the universal antidote to the gray monotony.
- The children are like us. They feel the holiday like a moment suspended out of time. An exceptional moment when the "defended" becomes the rule of the game: speak loudly, scream even, run in all directions, sing at the table, eat lots of candy, go to bed very late ...
- Well, that's right, we did not realize how much the party challenged our educational ambitions! So much the better, because far from sowing doubt in the minds of our children on the merits of our precepts, it helps them to become aware of the reality of the limits. "If we can temporarily mitigate the limits of the time for a party, it is because they existed before the party ... and will continue to exist afterwards, but know that there are limits to its desires. , that one can not do everything, is an essential identification for the constitution of the child who grows up, "analyzes Colette Jacob. Before the party, it's not the party, after the party, it's not the party anymore!
The party ... to meet
- The party is also and above all to be together. "Whatever the type of meeting, family, between friends, it is an intense moment of exchanges hu-hands.We say hello even if we do not know each other, we see with joy someone we had lost sight, we give ourselves time to com-mu-niquer ... finally! ", says the psychologist.
- Like a boyfriend's birthday or a class picnic, our little child lives a very rich human experience that allows him to improve his sociability.
- But the family celebration brings him another lesson. "Many generations are usually reunited for Christmas, which can be used to explain to his child who is who, in stepfamily families, sometimes with a little complicated geometry, this may be the moment to explain to him that this old gentleman - he has never seen - is not his grandpa, but the daddy of the new mommy's mate The child needs to be able to find his family and is essential for the construction of his safety and its identity ", continues Colette Jacob.
- The little child finds there the very reassuring feeling of belonging to a group united and united by genealogical links a little complex, but also by memories that are common: "You remember when the champagne cork is planted in the bun of Mami-e? "," And this time Thibaut stumbled on the chair and fell head-first into his birthday cake? "
The party ... to be beautiful
- The party is also the pleasure of the senses. The eyes: beautiful clothes and glittering garlands ... "The child is sensitive to beauty, it feeds on it, but beauty for beauty does not make sense.To the child draws a psychological wealth, for this to help her grow, this beautiful must be accompanied by an affective experience ", it is the basis of all the acquisitions of early childhood, reaffirms Colette Jacob.
- No way to impose his Christmas outfit! It's up to him to choose the clothes he likes ... and whatever the result, it's up to us to compliment him for his elegance! It's our Christmas present to his ego. "Feeling that he is beautiful in the eyes of others is for him the proof that he is loved, it values him and helps him to build a good image of him," says Colette Jacob.
- He will no doubt notice that the guests are also on their thirty-one. Proof that for them too, this holiday is important. Everyone respects the other ... and feels respected!
- Pleasure of mouth and nose too: the dishes that simmer or roast, during the ritual unpacking of gifts, tickle that day nostrils and taste buds with a little more emotion.
The party ... to dream
- Waiting for the party and looking forward to it is probably as much fun as the party itself. By associating our child with the preparations: to make with him garlands to liven up the Christmas tree, to make him draw the markers, to embellish the cardboard presenting the menu ... we create with him a formidable complicity which will leave very nice traces in his memory .
- While her fingers are busy, her mind works, says Colette Jacob: "During the whole time before the party, the child remembers the holidays he has already lived and imagine the one that will soon unfold. between the past and the future, create bridges, he puts his imagination in motion, mixing memories and dreams to represent a large table covered with a white tablecloth, multicolored lights ... and probably many other things of his This imaginative and creative capacity is another great springboard for the construction of the little human, it is thanks to his imagination that he can fight against anything that worries him. "
- And even if the party does not happen exactly as he had planned, if the reality is below or different from his expectations, just dreaming has already filled!
The party ... to punctuate the time
- Christmas has its rituals and it's one of its best strengths. As soon as they are put in place, they install the anticipation ... the waiting. "On Christmas Eve, children are not likely to be caught off guard, they know in advance, almost from birth, how it will happen!", Fun Colette Jacob.
- Each family has its little habits, what matters is the permanence of the program of the festivities! Nothing is sweeter than passing on these family rituals that we inherited from our childhood ... and that our children will bequeath in their turn. They constitute landmarks, anchors, pillars on which the child can rely to grow.
Isabelle Gravillon, with the collaboration of Colette Jacob, psychologist, author of "Can we still raise her children?", Ed. Fleurus.